sometimes a man need a big failure in his life, at least once..

it’s needed to strength his inner power to face the next obstacle..

lucky i’ve experienced this once, hope not twice or more..

this morning i feel great, even not the best one, but it is still a beautiful morning, i feel like the real human for this morning, escape from anything traped me before, even though there are still not few problems ahead, i think i can overcome everything if i take this morning as my base. you might not understand to what i’m saying or even get lost to trace what i try to convey through this words. but i think, the real conclusion from all above is “I’m happy this morning, and no remorse!”
as i have elected yesterday, i just do my obligation as a good citizen of Indonesia, eventhough the person whom i elected isn’t become a winner yet (according to quick count method and also if it is become reality that my choosen isn’t win now, this is the first time that my choosen doesn’t win the poll, as i always elect someone then he/she will be the winner of the poll) i’m still happy. i’m very grateful that the election running smooth (as far as i know) and nothing major problem happens. even some of the loser still refuse to admit the dominacy of one candidate, but that’s not a big deal, as the legitimate counting itself which is held by KPU still not over yet, and also still in a phase of beginning. this morning also, when i woke up from my very long hours of sleep ( i think i should reduce my sleep time if i don’t want to lose more time in my life) the sky was very clear, and the peak of Rinjani mountain was very visible from my home, it’s really a pitty that the electricity cable make it less beautiful, but, the climbing and hiking period itself is still not opened yet, because of the recent eruption of Barujari mountain recenty. i hope someday i can be on the summit in this brightly clear morning.
oke.. lets start the day.
ps : bad start cannot deteriorate the whole phases.

Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono-Budiono vs Jusuf Kalla-Wiranto vs Megawati Soekarno Putri-Prabowo Subianto.

Jusuf Kalla maybe the fastest in announcing who will be his companion as vice president (Wiranto), who will be accompany him toward the upcoming indonesia general election for president, he, who publicly known for his famous motto “faster is better”, may be the fastest in real world, in other side. Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, make a faster movement in “.com world”, as he has had a web site, which is focuses to help him winning for the election before he announce the name of the vice president, later we know he is Budiono for vice president, and you can see how the website is in http://www.sbypresidenku.com. for the other candidate, megawati and prabowo, seems to be the latest in the movement progress, but this is only my opinion so far in the race of presidential election, by no mean that i’m deliberately support one of those candidates, i have certain choice, but i will keep it secretly, and let this blog as a neutral media  to convey my free opinion without pros or cons on one’s side.

14 days to go, there’s no choice but force myself to do harder than before, i feel bit nervous, what if i fail? but i should no care about that, which just deteriorating the preparation, instead, just take it as a man, if you ready to win, just prepare to lose, even in a lost, there’s some lesson to be taken which is not available in victory. no need to moan, sigh, or regret if we’ve already done the best we could.
for your information, the situation surrounding the preparation is bit unclear, as there’s still no definite feedback from the exam’s commitee whether all my (requirement) documents, i sent it before, are already approved or not, or even it didn’t arrive to the address written on the envelope just because a silly mistakes from post officer which simply ruin all my hope this year, but i think that’s just unnecessary fear that i’ve made myself without any valid reason. so i’ve to throw that away.
and i need to find an “escape” to distract all my attention to the worries itself, i think writing is one of the “escape”. in english additonally to add the challanges in writing it self, so my concentration will fully absorbed in this activity that (hope) can ease my mind during the prep time.

23 days to go, and tonight i’ve made up my mind to apply more tight rule in running my life, i cannot let myself go with the flow of laziness, as i have one big dream to get, maybe it’s gonna be different case if i dont have, so i can be a laidback people along of my life, but, for now, i have made some plan for the future in anticipating whatever gonna be happen, but once again, all i need to do for now is just regaining my whole focus to one thing, the one that will happen 23 days from now on. ok, what happened today? yup, as usual, today is just like the other days, 8-5 workhour, the same meals, even i started getting “enough” with these all, and trying to seek an escape gate. but one thing, today i have a courage to tell someone about something that i should have told her 1 or 2 days ago. even, i didnt told all that i have to tell, approximately just 50%, but it’s already good for a person who has been long time didn’t this kind of stuff. i’m gonna tell her another 50%, before get all my focus to d4 entrance exam.

26 days to the d-day, the exam day i mean, the only ticket (so far i think so) for me to go reaching my dreams, the entrance gate to radicalize my frozen brain and idealism, and the chance to be young again, i need this scholarship, not merely because to continue my education grade to the higher level or even to raise my salary after graduating, but once again, i just need time, all i need is time, time and chance that i won’t waste for the second time, i will use my every single second of my time to sought after what i want to, i’m speechless for now, i don’t want to be a laidback people, the way that i use to be, but still, the laziness is my #1 enemy, no need to be told why, you must already know. now, i need to regain .. and regaining the focus to aim my future. the future that i will shape it myself, just do or fail, even failure is better for me than never have a try.

i would like to share these pictures to you,
some pictures that will be the true evident about a historical event that (perhaps) is just happened once in my entire life, i admire extreme as a legendary rock band, ecspecially Nuno Bettencourt (guitarist) because of his wonderful talent in making his guitar “roaming”. so, when i hear about the world tour (for their newest reunion album) schedule will be held in Indonesia (send credit to Cuzzu my friend) since then i was actively looking for informations as much as possible about this big gig. i just want to see Nuno’s playing his N4 without any electronic barrier or in other words i want to see him live.. it’s no problem at all for me to get back to jakarta from my recent home base in Lombok just for a few days, as we know it’s no cheap for me to buy the airplane’s ticket, and the price of concert ticket’s really suffocate me. but, it really paid off by the extraordinary show, the greatest i ever see so far. since then, my life seems to be brighter, i came back to lombok with love n smile. one of my dreams has really really come true, thanks God.

Now, it’s 2.32 am, very late of the night, when i write this essay, honestly, i dont have an idea what am i going to write now. because, i’m just going back home from hanging out with my friends, playing snookers, have a chat, and the most important to me is mingling among them. as it’s not easy for my feeling to be lonely, i need friends around me, being surrounded by friends made me feel much easier to face the problems.